Last December I tucked an amaryllis bulb into a box and put it on the shelf in my closet. I’ve had it for years, but it had only bloomed once. Each time I replanted, it would send up leaves but no flower. If it didn’t bloom this time, I was going to toss it.
In March I was startled to see that it had sprouted. It had a flower stem but no leaves yet. It was waiting, pale in the dark, for someone to notice that it needed a pot, some soil, and sunlight.
Over the next few days it greened up and sprouted a second stem. Today, 12 days later, the first stem opened.
It has never been lovelier.
Many of us are struggling right now with end-of-winter blues, with too many demands on our time, with too little confidence in ourselves. We want things back the way they were, when we were younger, stronger, more self-assured. When we were blooming.
I’ve been there, too. You feel neglected, unappreciated, maybe a little frightened that you’re not doing things right. You’re doing your best, but no one acknowledges it. Maybe you feel like a fraud. Listen: you’re fine. You’re in Leaf Mode.
The flower gets all the attention, but it’s the leaves that keep the plant going (with all due respect to the roots). It’s the leaves that make next year’s flower possible. All that photosynthesis! Dealing with those bugs! Recovering after storms! Those plain green exteriors belie the thousand tasks going on.
Step back from the blooming you don’t have time for now and embrace your role as leaves. You’re doing what you’re supposed to – trust that. If there’s something you can do better, then do better. Otherwise have confidence in where you are, have confidence in your contributions, even if they’re not perfect. Feed your soul with a healthy discipline, with gratitude, with insights.
Bloom when you can but take time to rejoice with the leaves.