Ivy is the shape-shifter of plants. It acts like it’s your friend, all pretty and green. It sends out new leaves now and then. It lets you brag on it; it even poses for pictures. But when it’s good and ready, that sucker will turn on you. Those verdant vines begin to thin. More water? More light? Plant food? It will scorn your offerings and laugh at your heartbreak as, leaf by leaf, it turns brown and reduces itself to barren sticks in a pretty cachepot.
It was an ancient florist speaking of ivy who first wrote, “Fool me once, shame on thee. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
My friend Ryk was hospitalized for an extended time recently, throwing a wrench into plans to celebrate his son’s birthday. In an effort to ease the sting, he asked on social media for people to share birthday greetings. I sent an ecard (graphic above; I hope I’m not violating copyright).
The incident reminded me of a story that goes around on social media from time to time. A teacher invites a sage to visit a class and impart wisdom. The sage writes on the board,
“EVERYONE WANTS TO SAVE THE WORLD, BUT NO ONE WANTS TO HELP MOM DO THE DISHES.”
(attributed to P. J. O’Rourke)
The sage reminds students that they are unlikely ever to rescue a child from a burning building. However, he added, simple acts of kindness can have a profound impact. A smile. Holding the door for the person behind you. Shoveling snow for your neighbor. They change that person’s world.
I had started to pat myself on the back for my little birthday greeting when I realized that, really, Ryk was the one who opened the door here. By inviting his friends to acts of kindness, he had himself committed one.
A great example to set for his children. And for all of us.
I lived in Australia for a couple of years, and one summer I went back for a visit. I stayed with my former landlady Joanie and her family, with whom I’d been close. They had introduced me to fish ‘n’ chips wrapped in newspaper; I introduced them to iced tea.
Joanie was happy to see me again. “And look,” she said. “We’re all set to celebrate your holiday on the 4th of July.” She opened the freezer door to reveal a turkey.
She had remembered the date. She had gone to some trouble to get a turkey, not, at the time, a popular meat in Australia. I made pumpkin pie, and we gave thanks for the freedom to be together, share stories, and catch up.
As your brats sizzle on the grill, don’t mind me. I’m over here in the corner with scones, jam, and tea. And turkey.
